Alcoholism is not a death sentence. Years of pain need not remain. The past is unchangeable, If you can not change the past then, a day at a time, build a new you. Being alone is a good thing, it allows you time to get in touch with your thoughts. Find a small flower and imbue its beauty into your thoughts. Do this completely alone. Each day replace unsupported thoughts with those of peace and serenity. Do not justify anger it is your disease lying to you. ACCEPTANCE is the answer; twenty-four hours at a time.